Second Place is First Place Sometimes

Iphone Pictures 372

Dear Jacob,

I just wrote a letter to your sister telling her how amazing that she is and I wanted you to know that never for a second do I think any differently of you. You are my second baby and while I may have done a lot of this already I celebrate many firsts with you also.

It may be sad, but sometimes I feel like I am a better mother to you because I’ve made mistakes and learned from them with Cassidy. I still screw up but overall I think I’m doing a little bit better this time around.

One lesson that you and the Voice taught me was to take my time and enjoy every precious minute with you. I had you and returned to work ten days later. Yes ten!! I am fully aware now how crazy that was. While I didn’t suffer any medical complications, I did miss out on valuable time that should have been spent with you alone. Don’t worry my baby boy, a few months later in a ridiculous maneuver to sit down in a restaurant I dislocated my knee and was out of work for the next three months. This is a very good example of what can happen when you choose to ignore the voice from within and the voice from above.

Lesson learned because from that time on I’ve been so attached to every second that I get to share with you. You are my little sunshine. I had you second but you are the first baby boy. Your spirit is unparalleled. I challenge anyone to look at you and not smile. Your personality is contagious!

You adore your sister and it melts my heart. You look at her like she is a genius and to you she probably is. I watch you soak up every word she says and I see the wheels turning as you learn from her. As much as she teaches you, I see you teach her every day as well.

You may be my second baby, but you are my first explorer. I watch as you take in every detail of you surroundings. I am amazed daily at the things you recall that were so insignificant to the rest but a huge detail to you. I can tell when you are absorbing it all as you suddenly get quiet. There is a spark of curiosity in your eyes and not a sound from your mouth. You are recording everything!

You may be my second baby, but you are my first adventurer. I hold my breath daily as your dare devil antics become braver and braver. We have had the same ottoman when Cassidy was your age, but never did I see it as a jumping board. I watch as you move it further away from the couch and jump back and forth as you are “flying like buzz lightyear.” My hear skips a beat many times a day because of you, but I smile even more…. because of you.

You are so loving of animals and people and you are really my special little boy. You are the source of endless laughs and fun. There are bumps and bruises always involved. Cars are made for crashing, paper is made for ripping, action figures are made for breaking and anything round is made for throwing. All of this I have learned from you. All of this and so much more. I love you so much Bubba!

Love, Momma

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