Well, Mothers Day has come and gone and I have realized a very valuable lesson. The very reason that I am able to celebrate Mothers Day, the fact that I have children, is the very reason that yesterday didn’t go as planned more than once. My day was filled with cards and flowers and tantrums and tears. I myself, at one point broke down for a quick cry.
I don’t want to make the day seem like a total bust because it wasn’t. I was off of work and was able to spend some time with my babies, who I have missed greatly in recent weeks. I was able to see my mom and Brian’s mom and all in all the day was a success…. but there were plenty of those moments that made me feel like this day of celebrating motherhood was actually once again testing me.
The morning started off pretty great. Cassidy and Jacob greeted me with a “Surprise! Happy Mothers Day!” from their hiding spot under the bed. I was showered with an envelope of home made crafts and cards and love.
Our plan was to at some point get some flowers for planting along with a nice plant for my mom and Brian’s mom. All of this went smoothly and we even delivered my mom’s without a hitch.
It was at this point that things started to fall apart. We made it back home and due to hunger or tiredness, I’m not sure which, the tantrums began. Jacob screamed and threw himself on the floor for at least twenty minutes while I got lunch ready.
Now I am a mom and I hear screaming on a daily basis. I also am witness to my share of tantrums, but on Mothers Day, I guess I was hoping for a break. No breaks here. My stubborn boy was determined to show me that moms don’t get a day off.
Well the twenty minutes went by and lunch was ready. Things settled down and we made it through lunch without another incident. After lunch we decided to go outside and plant some flowers. Terrible idea given the wind and chilly weather, but I wanted to so bad that I was determined to make it happen.
We were all cold and every so often it would rain a few sprinkles on us. I was able to get some planting done in between the arguments over shovels and bikes and diggers or dump trucks. I am thankful to have had the opportunity to get a couple things planted but I felt like every few minutes I was saying “No”, “Stop that”, “Not there”, “Put that down”, “Why are you fighting now”, “Don’t throw that.” Yup it was an adventure!
This planting experience ensured that Jacob’s nap time would not be a minute late. Once he was down, Cassidy took over the bickering. Thank goodness for reminders that I am a mom everyday, even on a holiday.
Next on the list was dinner with the family. Melissa was kind enough to make us all lasagna. Brian’s mom, sister and grandma joined our circus side show act for dinner. I was super excited for lasagna, one of my favorite meals. We got it on the table and the bickering took up right where it left off.
Jacob refused to use silverware. This detail bothered no one but myself so I repeatedly asked him to use his fork. I was to the point of being sick of hearing my own voice. Then he decides if he can’t use his fingers and slop the noodles around then he is done. He shoves his chair away from the table and begins to get down.
I use the cakes that Cassidy and Jacob decorated for me as a lure to get him back to the table but it just didn’t seem to do much. The screaming started and that was it. I had emptied my tank of patience and so I excused myself from the table to run upstairs and shed a few tears.
I cried as I thought about all of the nights that I miss dinner time with my family. I am at work and they eat without me at least five nights a week. I get this opportunity rarely anymore and we can’t even get through it without fighting. I am so sad that as I sit upstairs and stew I hear that downstairs everything is calm and back to happy and without me. Now I’m really sad. Are they so used to not having me there that it works better without me?
Brian finally comes up to retrieve me and I go back downstairs with puffy and sad eyes. I didn’t enjoy dinner and now its over. I’m tired of hearing my voice and everyone is ready to leave. We manage to pull it together long enough to enjoy the cakes that the kids made and then we call it a wrap.
You know, I expected the day to go so much smoother. I never expected to be crying or upset at any point in the day, but the reality is that a mother is never off the clock. Mothers Day turned out to be just like most other days in our house. A little bit of fun, some arguing, a couple of tears, a few hugs, a laugh or two and a smile here and there. Its just how we do things. This day was no different.
We had our little bit of fun. We certainly did some arguing. The tears were present more than once and hugs for all to cheer each other up. A few laughs at dessert when we looked back on how silly all of this chaos actually was and suddenly we were all smiling.
No, Mothers Day didn’t go the way I would have planned it, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I was surrounded by the ones that I love and while it was rocky in spots, that is our life and I should never have expected anything but.
I hope all the moms out there had a great Mothers Day yesterday and I hope that if it was filled with a touch of chaos like mine was, that you survived it and realize that this is what its all about.