Terrible Twos

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Dear Jacob,

As the months pass we are quickly approaching your third birthday. I thought for sure that we had survived the terrible twos and I was planning to brace myself for the terrible threes. Cassidy survived her twos pretty easily. It wasn’t until she turned three that things started getting a little rocky. I figured this would be your case as well however, in the past couple of weeks you have made it clear where the phrase terrible twos comes from.

Your personality is that of a very laid back and easy going kind of kid. You have always been cheerful and smiling. Since you were able to smile there has been a cheese on your face that everyone who met you commented on. Your smile is and always has been contagious. It is in recent days that your smile has been scattered among stubbornness and tantrums.

I think the first couple of tantrums were sort of comical. It was hard not to laugh at you throwing yourself on the floor and kicking and screaming. Maybe this is where we went wrong… laughing instead of nipping it in the bud. It was just so cute and even replaying in my head I sort of chuckle at the display.

What is not funny is the dramatics that ensue each and every day when I try to leave the house and pick up your sister from the bus stop. Let me replay this for you from my perspective. It starts out with warnings, many, many warnings.

“Jacob, five minutes until we leave to get Cassidy.”

“Jacob, two minutes until we leave.”

“Jacob, one minute and we are out the door.”

Keep in mind that all of these warnings are still giving myself a cushion of about five extra minutes in case chaos ensues. Finally, the warnings are over and I try to get you downstairs for shoes.

This is where the trouble begins. This is where I stop laughing. I pick you up as you give me the straight as a board treatment, making it difficult to carry you down the stairs, but I manage. I get you down there and you throw yourself to the ground.

“I’m not going.” “I’m staying in my home.” You repeat over and over as I get my shoes on and grab yours. I manage to get you to sit and grab that little foot of yours in an effort to get your first shoe on. I put it on while fighting your flailing hands and kicking feet along with listening to the constant chanting of “no” and “I’m not going.”

Success!! I have one shoe on. I let go of that foot and in the less than split second that it takes me to grab your other foot, you have masterfully kicked off the first shoe. Like a ninja master it is on the floor and my composure is slipping. The process starts over again with the other foot now and I manage once again to get one shoe on….

Again, your masterful two year old magic kicks it off faster than I can react and we are back at square one. By this time you have chewed up most of my five or so extra minutes cushion and I am now draining my patience tank. One more round of this and I will be empty.

We do go one more round and again you win. I imagine that if I were a fly on a wall that this would be a rather comical display. In fact I should probably figure out how to video it. I bet it would make an incredible u-tube video. Mom goes crazy trying to put on toddler’s shoes. Yup it will go viral in seconds. None the less, I am not a fly on the wall and this is not a viral video on u-tube

. It is your frazzled mom trying to get you out the door so that your sister has someone to get her off the bus. This isn’t the first time we have gone to the bus stop. I don’t understand why each and everyday we replay this episode. It’s like the movie “Groundhog Day”. I am stuck repeating the same scene day after day and unfortunately it isn’t the best of scenes. The scene I get to replay is the one where mommy looses her patience and has to scoop you up screaming and put you in the car without your shoes because we are now going to miss your sister.

The scene is that of neighbors watching as you continuously scream and cry. Once again give me the straight as a board treatment as I try feverishly to get you buckled into the car seat. I am sure that I look like worlds worst mom as this episode is on display for our neighbors on a daily basis. I get into the car just about in tears from frustration and embarrassment and I drive up the road to get your sister.

My patience tank is now empty. I am once again proven to be less than perfect at motherhood and the best part is that you will prove it again tomorrow.

I can honestly look at this whole process to get to the bus and I can sort of laugh about it when I’m not in the actual moment. We always go home and make up and things are usually fine from there. The make up part of course, happens where our neighbors can’t see, so they probably go on thinking that I’m the crazy lady that is mean to her kids.

Your twos came in like a lamb and are going out like a lion. I just hope that come September, if I last that long, that you turn three and these battles are a thing of the past. Sure I know that you and I will have other battles throughout our lives and I look forward to the challenge that being your mommy has become. You still make me smile just looking at you and I love you with all of my heart. That said, cut this momma a break.

Love, Mommy

 

 

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