I think that if I have learned anything about being a mother, it is that this is a tough job. As a mom you are tested not just daily but by the minute and sometimes even second. Just when you think that you may have a handle on things, those little angels, devils that they are, teach you otherwise.
I think about the road that has brought me to mother of a five and two year old, and I picture back to where it first began. They day that each of my babies entered this world has left an indelible mark on my heart and soul. With each of their births I was blessed with an amazing experience. It was an experience so emotional and perfect that if money were no object I would have many more babies.
After visiting our friends, who just went through the bliss of bringing their own angel into the world, I feel heartbroken. Our friends did not experience the perfect birth story. They experienced the exact opposite. I am already starting to tear up as I think about their situation. As Mom said to me when I visited, “You prepare and plan so much, for nine months to make everything perfect and then…” She trailed off into tears because she realized how imperfect it had turned out.
Mom had given birth to a gorgeous baby girl on April 16, 2013. Labor did not go as planned and an emergency cesarean was done. At least mom and baby girl were healthy and on the road to their new lives together. The trouble is, that mom was not so healthy and even after being released from the hospital to take home her perfect little peanut she was only getting worse.
Since this was her first baby, Mom had no idea that the pains that she experienced, in the week following her homecoming, were not related to the cesarean. She was actually in great danger and her body was being poisoned from the inside. When the doctors finally did realize that something was terribly wrong, Mom had already become very ill. She then spent another thirteen days in the hospital, which has only been the beginning of her recovery that could last for many more weeks.
I tell you, I had no idea that when I went to bring food to our friends that I would be so saddened. I knew coming home from the hospital with a new baby was tough. I knew that being sick on top of it was just awful luck. I had no idea how bad it was.
I looked at Mom laying in a bed while here little angel slept in the swing close by. Mom barely sat up and barely moved other than to wipe her tearing eyes as she talked to me about the whole situation. She showed me the tubes that are still in her, that drain from her stomach. I was speechless. She told me how it is difficult to sit in most chairs so she lays in bed almost all day. She does a lap around the house from time to time and then back to bed. Holding her sweet girl is only possible in short spurts as it becomes painful quickly.
It is so hard for a first time mother to get her groove and learn how to be a mommy. There is no guide book because all babies are different. Each day is a new lesson in how to be a mommy and their are failures behind every corner. There are obstacles and challenges on a daily basis with a healthy mommy and baby so imagine the difficulty if mom is not healthy. Most people know how important it is for a mom to hold here new baby and I cry just thinking about how our friend has missed out on so many opportunities already to hold their beautiful baby.
I do think that this family is very strong. I am sure that they will get through this, but it will take time. It will take time for Mom to get well. It will take time for her heart to heal at the loss of all of these first moments with her baby. Lucky that Dad has been amazing through all of this. If there was one thing that Mom was thankful for, it was how wonderful her husband has been in taking care of everyone.
He and their family and friends have all come together in every effort to make this poor situation seem a little bit better. When I looked into Mom’s eyes though, I knew that a meal wouldn’t heal her heart. That is where I think that she is really hurting the most. I believe that she feels lost and hopeless right now. I think that she is heartbroken that she can’t care for her own baby right now. I think that she is sad and scared and I would be also.
Both Mom and Dad have not worked since before the little angel arrived. Of course Mom has been off of work to recover but without Dad taking off as well, the recovery would be going much slower. Dad has been caring for this precious girl when Mom is not able to. All of the time that they had planned to be off for their baby’s homecoming has long passed and now they are in another tight spot.
I think that friends and family pitching in to bring them meals has been incredible.The meal train is an incredible idea and I honestly can’t wait to have another use for it. I think that the food probably helps a lot. I know that baby girl has been showered with gifts of clothing and diapers and wipes and all of those things are incredible as well. I think that most people who know this family are still looking for another way to help.
Both Mom and Dad have missed so much work that they are beginning to see the financial difficulties that go along with it. These are good people that deserved a perfect baby and perfect homecoming and they may have gotten half of that but the rest just didn’t turn out that way at all. As a mom myself, I can’t imagine for a second, going through this with any child, let alone my first.
So tonight as I write this letter I am asking for your help. I ask for those of you who know this family to join them in their struggle and help lesson the burden. I am asking those of you who may not know this family, to imagine for a second that you were in their shoes. Imagine that all you should be doing is healing and caring for a new baby and instead you are crying and depressed because nothing has turned out as it should. Imagine that instead of concentrating on getting well, you are worrying about how you can be off of work another day to afford to live.
I know that we all have our struggles and I know we all go through tough times. If this past weekend has taught me anything, it has showed me that lending a hand can make a difference in your life, as well as in the lives of those you help. I am asking that we stick together and try to make a difference for this family even if you don’t know who they are.
This family deserves to see how something amazing can happen even in a time of sadness. If you are interested in helping this family please respond to this post and I will give you all of the details on where to send money and prayers. I have talked to Mom’s sister and with her help we would like to raise enough money that this family can focus on getting Mom well and caring for that little angel. The last thing Mom needs is to worry about is returning to work when she still hasn’t had a chance to be a mom yet; so please be as generous as you can.
In addition to helping this family financially, I think that Mom would really appreciate some positive words of encouragement and prayer if you have them. Once again, even if you don’t know them personally, you may be able to relate to the difficult times they are going through. Let us stand together and carry this family with our love and support and I know amazing things will happen in all of our hearts!
P.S. Here is a link that was just set up to make donations for this family. http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/help-a-new-family/61007