As I sat at my brother in laws house a few days ago he said something that made me think. He had been brought cupcakes for his birthday by a woman that works with him. This woman always brings in cake or some kind of treat for a birthday. My brother in law said ” I would never think to bring in cupcakes for someone’s birthday.” It just wouldn’t cross his mind. I’d be willing to bet that it wouldn’t cross many guy’s minds.
The more that conversation settled in my mind, I started counting all of the differences in how men and women think about things. I use my own relationship with Brian as my basis but I am sure that the idea is similar for most men and women.
Across the board, Brian and I are opposite in how we think about things. Maybe we are just polar opposites or maybe men are from another planet.
Lets start with food.
I think of food as a chore. Since I make most of the meals in our house, food isn’t so wonderful to me. I also think that food can be a burden mentally. I think about what I eat and how it will affect my weight and appearance. Oreo cookies will make me break out, ice cream will make me fat. I can obsess over calories and how many snacks I ate in a day. I feel bad when I don’t eat healthy or when I eat too much. The bottom line is that everything that I put into my body, makes me feel a certain way and usually it is guilty.
I would say that Brian on the other hand, enjoys food. It is a source of pleasure. Food that tastes good obviously provides more pleasure. He may feel some remorse after eating if he has eaten too much but I doubt if every bite is an internal conflict for him.
Sex is another area where we think totally different. I am fine with squeezing it in, if there isn’t anything else to do. If I get to it, I get to it. It would not be on my list of priorities. I of course derive pleasure from sex but it doesn’t make my day and it certainly doesn’t ruin it. I don’t think about sex constantly and honestly I could go a few days without. As a mom, I feel like I am pulled in so many directions and need to care for so many needs that sometimes sex seems like a luxury that there isn’t always time for.
The opposite of that of course, is the incessant need for sex. I don’t have to guess, I know it is on Brian’s mind all of the time and I am pretty sure that goes for men in general. I know that sex is a priority on Brian’s list of things to do in a day. In fact it appears several times on his list. Sadly, neither one of us get everything on our lists done in a day.
Clothes are another major brain difference. I have a closet full of clothes and nothing to wear. Everything I put on makes me feel a certain way and it will affect if I decide to change or not. I sometimes put on three or four outfits before settling on one, and even then I have reservations about it. A shirt will make me feel self conscious, or a pair of shoes can make me feel sexy. It all depends on the day and my mood.
Brian can go to the closet and grab a t-shirt and shorts and not think twice about it. As long as it matches he is in business. He has hundreds of shirts to choose from and he never has a hard time deciding. It is just clothes to him. It isn’t a feeling. Looking in the mirror at himself won’t ruin his day the way it could potentially ruin mine.
Tears are another great divide in the male and female brain. I am not a cry baby, but every now and then, I feel a need to shed a few tears. It is healthy and it is actually a way of releasing the emotions that have been penned up for usually a long time. When I do cry, I am almost unable to stop myself, until I have gotten it all out of my system.
For some reason, the male species has a hard time with tears. Think of all the men that tell their sons not to cry, don’t be a baby, crying is for girls. Well maybe it is. Brian hates when I cry. He has said that it actually makes him angrier if I cry while we are arguing. I can’t understand it, but I guess he can’t either.
The differences in how we think are endless. The longer I write this the more I am coming up with. Most women go to a gynecologist once a year. This is a visit that I can assure you, we are not counting down to. In fact, I bet most of us would like to skip it all together, but we go anyway. Like clockwork, we go year after year and subject ourselves to the unpleasant exam.
A man on the other hand, well just try and convince him that he needs his prostate checked yearly. Go ahead and force him and then we will finally see some tears! Honestly, I don’t know of any man in my life that would agree to a yearly exam like this. Like a man’s private parts are so much more private and personal than a woman’s. I don’t know it doesn’t make much sense to me but it does bring me to my next difference.
A woman, especially a mom, gets sick and I can promise you that she is still getting the kids up and dressed, making meals and caring for everyone. She is doing it all like usual only feeling terrible in the process. Life doesn’t stop for sickness and neither do women.
Good thing we have that nurturing instinct, because when a man gets sick…. Call his mommy! Add one more child to the list if you have a man in your home with the sniffles. Every sore throat is the “worst” sore throat and every cough feels like they are dying. They moan and make loud panting noises. It is like a Broadway show with all of the dramatics. Trust me, there is one thing I hope for, that the boys in my life don’t get sick!
I laugh at most of the differences in men and women. I think it is funny how unintentionally, our brains just process things differently. I am not saying one way or the other is the right way, but it sure is interesting when you think about them all. Join in and comment on some other differences that you notice between men and women. Maybe we can figure out what planet they are from after all. Just kidding guys!