Mom Or Momma

Dear Cassidy,

The definition for Momma and Mom are the same. Both are informal names for a mother. However, I feel that the two names are quite different. If I had to write the definition of Momma, I would say that it is a term of endearment. Momma would be an endearing name for a mother who lives and breathes for her children. It is used with a sweetness that shows love as well as a dependence.

Mom on the other hand I would define as a distant name for a mother. Something cold about the way it sounds when it is spoken. It is a name that is used with matter of factness and a sense of independence.

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Now, if I had to choose, I would want to be called Momma forever. Just recently, you have begun calling me just Mom and to me it is just that… “Just Mom”. Nothing special here. She’s just some lady that does some stuff. “Ooookay Mom!” said with sharp tones. “I heard you Mom!” said with disgust that I would even question. “Fine MOM!” said like I should never have bothered to ask.

I am all for you growing up…. sorry, that was I lie. I am actually not all for you growing up but it does happen anyway. That said, I am not happy about your sudden age jump from five to fifteen in the past month. Just yesterday I went to grab your hand in the parking lot and you looked at me like I was kicking your puppy. “I don’t need your hand. I’m not a baby, MOM.” Ouch, is all I have to say about that.

Since when do you not need me? This is the lady that has done everything for you since the day you were a tiny seed in my belly. This is the lady that has given up sleep, food, fun, showers, sanity, friends, money, time and energy to give you everything you could ever need and suddenly you no longer need me?

You sure sing a different tune when I tuck you into bed at night. Dare I not sing your lullabies or rub your back because you no longer need me. I have a feeling that would not go over well. I can tuck you in, just don’t grab your hand in public anymore.

Ya know, someday you will hopefully experience what it is like to be a Momma. It is eye opening let me tell you. In writing this, I already feel like I need to call my Mom, Momma again. I’m not sure when I started calling her “just Mom” but I wonder if it was too soon for her also.

What I’m saying is, it is too soon. I am your Momma. I don’t want to be just Mom because I am not just a Mom. I’m a chef, a housekeeper, a shuttle driver, planner, soccer fan, dance recital seat saver, birthday party planner, hair brusher, appointment setter, boo boo kisser, bandaid peeler, broken toy fixer, nurse, prayer leader, paint partner, song singer, homework helper, play date setter, paperwork filer, missing toy finder, bath giver, clothes mender, snuggle partner.

I do way to much to be just Mom. It’s like calling the president of a major company “some guy with a desk.” I need a title that says exactly what I do. I am a Momma. I will always be your Momma.

You may not want to hold my hand anymore in public, but I want to hold yours. Honestly, if you weren’t so darn tall and heavy, I’d probably carry you still. You started out as a twinkle in my eye and a seed in my belly. I am your Momma.

I know that this is something that happens in all child/mother relationships. I know that at some point you have to grow up and push away from me. I am just struggling with the fact that you are pushing away at six. I mean couldn’t this wait till you actually were fifteen?

I want to see you grow up to be an independent woman someday, and I have no doubts that you will. Time goes by so quickly and already you are spreading your wings. I just don’t want you to fly too far just yet. I still want to be a big part of your life. I want you to need me. I can’t lie, I’m going to want you to need me when you are my age… A little less by then but still need me.

I still need my Momma. I may not need her daily but there are times that I can only talk to her and she can fix what needs fixed. I will always need her just as you will always hopefully, need me.

You don’t have to hold my hand for the rest of your life, but how about till your seven? You want to call me Mom but maybe every now and then you could throw in a Momma just to see me smile.

Look, Jacob is almost three now and you are six. I don’t have any babies left. Pretty soon he will be on board with the “just Mom” kick too. Soon, I won’t have anyone to hold and you will both be too embarrassed to have me around. I know that this is natural, but I was really hoping that I had a little longer.

I love you both with everything that I have. I may be a source of embarrassment for you at times and you will surely both become independent sooner than later. I won’t be able to hold your hands forever, so how about just a little while longer? Let me be your Momma for just a bit longer. I promise, someday you can call me Mom….. but for right now let me still feel needed by calling me Momma.

Love, Momma

5 thoughts on “Mom Or Momma

  1. Aww, Cherise. Your love for your kids is so beautiful. I don’t even recall a time when I called my mom momma. If Cassidy once did and she no longer does, chalk it up to the influence of school and other kids. Not to the way she feels about you. That will never change.

    • I know Jody, I can’t remember when I last called my Mom, Momma either. It has been a long, long time. I know my kids love me still but I am just not ready for them to be so grown up yet!

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