Well, once again you were right. Thank you for the lessons that I have learned in the past couple of days. It seems that you noticed how busy a month that September has been and you have made the provisions, once again, for me to slow down. It is always easy to look in the rear view mirror and see that perhaps I have taken on too much. The trouble for me, is noticing this when I’m in the moment.
A few days ago you decided to bless me with an intensely painful back spasm. I have never experienced anything like this and it came so all of a sudden that I literally froze for several minutes hoping that the pain would pass. It did not. Instead, I could barely move or walk for the next two days. The pain I compare to that of labor, as I felt certain that I have never been in as much pain. At least with labor an epidural is offered. For this injury, only a ton of ibuprofen, steroids and muscle relaxers.
While I am feeling better today, and returning to work, it has brought to light once more, that I need to take a break every now and then. I can not continue to fill my plate at the buffet of life. I need to sit down and enjoy the few things that are on my plate in moderation. Anything else would be glutinous.
I try to see the positive in most situations so this is no different. I am writing today in thanks for the couple of days off. I suppose I wouldn’t have taken them otherwise. I am also thankful for the opportunity to see how much Brian truly cares about me.
He came home from work on Thursday to me hunched over and shaking with pain. Usually, I don’t let sickness or pain keep me from doing what I do best…. everything. It doesn’t usually matter what is ailing me, I am always up for more. My list of things to do never gets smaller. This time, I couldn’t move so I’d say it was pretty limiting on my list.
Brian picked up all of the slack and at one point when I thanked him for all of his help, he said “I’m not doing anything that you wouldn’t do for me.” That really made my day. Not only did he realize how much I help him when he is hurt of sick, but he was a tremendous support for me. How lucky am I!
I powered through the past couple of days and at first I was terribly upset at the money lost from not working. It seems that every time I have a chance to get ahead, life steps in and pushes me back a couple feet. This was no different. Each shift that I work is necessary to pay a bill and missing even one shift is debilitating. I had already missed a shift earlier in the week because Cassidy wasn’t feeling well, so this really hurt, but you already know that.
Thank you for reminding me that money isn’t everything. It isn’t more important than my health and well being. Thank you for the kick in the back that was able to remind me of what my priorities actually are. I may need to work to pay bills and live the life that I want, but it should never rule the life that I am living. I think that I was forgetting that.
It is your little reminders that bring me back to reality and help me to focus on what life is really about. You sent me one of your most amazing reminders about three years ago. You dislocated my knee giving me a three month break from life. Jacob was just born and I had returned to work after only ten days… Once again money ruling my life. I guess you had to put your foot down and prove a point. My injury enabled me to spend precious time with my new baby that I would have otherwise missed.
I do hate to be told that I am wrong, but I guess you do have a point. You must watch over me and wonder why I push myself so hard. I don’t have an answer for that. I guess it is just how you made me. It must be hard for you to watch me get carried away with life and so I guess that is why you send me these reminders.
Once again, my eyes have been opened and I will try to see clearly all of the things that are important. I will try not to over fill my plate and I will try to savor the things that I choose to put on it. I know this is a lesson that you keep trying to teach me, and I pray that this time I have got it figured out. Sadly, I’m sure you know me well enough to know, that I probably do not have it figured out.
I will try my best to stay on course but if I do stray again, I look forward to being reminded once more. Thank you for your help, thank you for your mercy and thank you for your forgiveness of my shortcomings!