Ever wonder what it will be like when you finally settle down and have kids? I can distinctly remember wishing and waiting on the traditional milestones, getting married and having kids. I recall the single days and being young and having fun. The days of less responsibility and the days that were centered around myself. Funny as I centered every day around Me, that I was counting the minutes down to add more work, more people, more love, more chaos, more confusion and less Me into my life. I couldn’t wait for those milestones and I had no idea what a difference they would make.
I can be sappy and tell you about the differences that it will make in your heart, but we’ve all read that blog over and over. “There is no love like the love you feel for your children.” Got it! “Marrying your soul mate is living happily ever after.” Yup, Got that too!
Now for something more tangible!
It is a Friday night and I sit here and type. It is peaceful and quiet. I am the only one stirring in the house at this moment. A glass of wine sits beside me on the coffee table and a stiff pillow behind my back and I think about my life fifteen years ago. Wow, seems so far off but as I look around I begin to see the differences and realize the distance that I have traveled in fifteen years; I am surprised by the differences. Here are five changes after marriage and kids.
1. My mantel. First off, fifteen years ago I probably didn’t have a mantle and if I did it only held things like candles or empty liquor or wine bottles in an attempt to glorify an amazing night of over indulging. It was covered in dust and there was nothing hanging above it, that is if I even had a mantle at all. I was carefree and unfettered at the time so remembering a plank of wood sticking out of the wall fifteen years ago seems silly.
Tonight, I look up at my plank of wood and I see pictures from my wedding. A kiss that I would never forget. I see last years school pictures, because I’m slow and haven’t changed them out yet to this years but don’t judge, at least I have them up there. There are jars filled with wine corks and candles in full pinterest form making me feel so crafty. There is dust. Hmmm I guess not much has changed!
2. My couch. Fifteen years ago my couch was a trash dive couch that a country club was tossing. I took it for free and could have cared less that it was pastel striped and god awful ugly. It was free! It usually had a puppy on it, and with that tons of fur. Shortly after said puppy came along the couch was also covered in dental impressions as well.
Tonight, I sit on a hand me down couch from a friend that I have recovered in full pinterest form. It is comfy and was free so I’m loving it. It is no longer pastel and ugly but it looks like a couch that belongs in a living room with a mantle. It is still covered in fur from when the no longer puppy decides that he should climb up for a sneaky nap. Hmmmm, I guess not much has changed!
3. My coffee table. Way back when, a coffee table could have been anything. Milk crates, Tupperware boxes, an actual table… all of which could have been used for a coffee table. Mine was of the wood variety and it was once again free. Passed along from someone moving and getting rid of shit. I was available to take said free shit. Then, my table was probably covered in crap. It probably had bottle caps, old mail, magazines I would never get to read, dust, and a coaster for decoration.
Tonight my coffee table is covered in almost the same. You’ll be shocked to know that the table was free. Yes, I don’t like paying for furniture and people throw it away when it is still perfectly good so it isn’t Tupperware but it is a hand me down and I love it. The table is topped with papers from the kids “crafts” which is actually just ripped up paper placed strategically around the house to fuck with me. A center piece of pine cones and a candle in full pinterest form sits on the table now along with the coasters that are just for decoration. If ever I had a table worthy of an actual coaster I wouldn’t have coasters, I’d just cover that shit in a sheet of glass like old ladies do. Finally, it is covered in dust because I’m lucky I have time to get a shower daily, let alone dust.
4. With the holidays approaching, I realize that fifteen years ago, I had a love for decorating…. on a budget of course! I bought a cheep tree that was short and skinny and some cheep ornaments to cover it. It was small but pretty and by the time I took it down in mid January it was covered in dust.
Tonight, there is no tree in my living room but already the pinterest plans are being made of where to put the tree and how to decorate it for the most magical Christmas ever. That said, I still have the same cheep ornaments and the same cheap tree. There has been additions to the ornaments that the kids have made. Hand prints and foot prints adorn the tree now. They are free to make, but when they all come down in January, they are all still covered in dust. Hmmmm, guess not much has changed!
5. Fifteen years ago, the only reason that I was sitting on the couch playing on the computer by myself on a Friday night was because I was lame. If I were sitting on my couch by myself I was probably feeling like shit for being alone. I was trying to fill my time with meaningful things like reading magazines or painting my nails but really I was lonely and knew that all that I was doing was collecting dust.
Tonight, I sit alone on the couch with a pillow firmly placed behind my lower back because I’m an old lady. I type away and feel anything but lonely. I am overjoyed by the quiet and peace in my house right now. I cherish every second that I am still alone, thinking in the back of my mind that it is only a matter of time before a kid wakes up and spoils my peace. I enjoy every moment until I have finished my glass of wine that was filled too high and realize that all I have done tonight is collect dust. Hmmmmm, I guess not much has changed after all.
In the end, kids or no kids, hubby or no hubby, we are all just collecting dust. Enjoy it if you can and hopefully you aren’t allergic!