My Average Kids

Dear Kids,

I have brought you into this world and watched and helped you grow. You have turned from helpless infants into small people and each day I am awed and amazed at how the two of you have grown. Every day you develop your own personalities a little more and I am given a glimpse into the future of who you will become. Each day you learn a little more and I am honored to have helped you in your struggles and also in your triumphs. Each day you remind me of all that the world has to offer you, and I am reminded of the most important lesson that you must take and carry on with you.

I love you both deeply, but know this…. You are average.

That may have sounded harsh but let me explain. You both are in a world where dreams can come true, dreams can be broken and dreams can never even happen. You were born with two feet (average), two hands(average), one mouth (also average), two eyes (average)….. Are you getting the point yet?

Daddy and I brought you into this world with the same tools as everyone else. You are the average. You can walk and talk just like anyone else and you live in a home like most people do. You have parents that care about you all the time and suck some of the time. You have a full life of love, learning, feeling, being and experiencing all of this world ahead of you, and the tools that you were given from the start are the same as almost anyone else.

Let me explain further… You see, you were both born with the same thing that most of us are born with physically. You were born average. Remember this because there seems to be an epidemic of amazingness going on right around you. Some babies are brought into this world and told how wonderful and awesome they are. Some babies are put on that pedestal from day one. They only have amazing and awesome to look forward to for the rest of their lives.

You both, on the other hand, have average to look forward to. That is, unless you choose other wise. “There may be people that have more talent than you, but there’s no excuse for anyone to work harder than you.” Derek Jeter

Dad and I have given you both the basic necessities. We have ensured that you will lead an average life, but if you realize now how average you are, you and only you can turn that into something extroidinary. You both possess the power to achieve anything that you can dream of. Litereally any idea that you can come up with, is possible, as long as you have the will to fight for it and go get it. You may have been born average just like everyone else, but your heart and your soul can make you anything but average if you truly want to.

It will be hard for you. There are so many children out there now that are told from birth that they are amazing. These children will end up in your lives and and in your classes. They will be the ones that think that the teacher is only talking to them… because they are amazing, of course. They will be the children that change the rules of the game because they aren’t winning and the ones that must be the line leader every day. Don’t stress over it too much, they were just never informed of how average that they are.

This is my gift to you. I want you both to realize how average that you are. You are like everyone else and nothing that you have is any greater… unless you make it greater. Look, your blood flows red and dries black just like mine. Your Mom has wiped your behind more times than she cares to count. You have had to learn to walk, talk, eat, dress yourself, just like everyone else. We are all born average.

If tomorrow you wake up wanting to be a fireman, I can tell you this. You will be average at fighting fires. You will have to work and sweat and live and die to fight those fires to be the best fire fighter that you could ever be…. only then will you move from average to slightly above average.

It takes really hard work, and a whole lot of mind and soul to go from average to awesome. Some people have done it. A lot of people have… but I promise this, they never once just got to be awesome because their Mommy said so. I won’t lie to you both and fill your minds with the ideas that you are outstanding. I will tell you that you both have the heart and soul to be such. You just have to want it. You have to fight for it, like its your life that is at stake. The ones that can do that, actually become more than average.

In my eyes you will both always be more than average, but know this, I won’t be around forever and my opinion is skewed. You are both more than enough for me, but the world wants more and you both have more. Take the fact that you are average with you in every life obstacle that you should come across. Start out as average and really dig deep to find out if you seek more. I know you are both truly inspirational and astounding individuals, but my word is only as good as average.

Be determined to be better than average. Be a fighter. Want what you can’t have and then find a way to get it. Dream for things that are unimaginable and then find a way to catch those dreams. Expect more from yourself that anyone else, because you will always be your worst critic. Use those brains that God gave you, but always listen to your heart. Sometimes they will argue but the heart is usually right. Find a way to no longer be average. You are both, anything but.


Love, Mommy


Saying Goodbye

photo (13)

Dear God,

I’d say that 2015 had proved to be an incredible character building year so far for the Scott family, my family.I’m not sure if I should thank you, or not. ¬†Only ten days after ushering in the new year, we were blessed with an out with the old and in with the new, attitude. It was not an attitude that we chose or necessarily would have wanted but it’s all in your hands. My family’s home burning to the ground has given us many things. Things that we never wanted, never asked for, and never expected. That said…. you are the boss.

I’d like to say that the 2015 is shaping up or getting better, but it isn’t. Instead it seems to be getting worse. So I wonder if there was a lesson that we may have missed. I know that all things happen for a reason, your reason, and I am patiently waiting on my next move.

I can honestly say that in my thirty-six years of life, that this is by far the worst year yet. I don’t even want to consider what could make it worse, because I fear that it could happen still. I honestly hope that twenty years from now, I will look back on this year and think that it was all downhill from here.

I still have to wonder though, what is the lesson that needs to be learned. Is it a lesson for me or for one of my family members? Is it a lesson that all of us need to learn? Are we an example and therefor a lesson for all to learn?

I’ve thought about those questions since January 10. 2015. I have wracked my brain trying to figure out what we need to get out of this. I am aware that you don’t have to share with us your great wisdom, but I have thought non stop about the lesson. Oh there is one, and we clearly haven’t gotten it yet. Whatever you have been trying to teach my family since we have lived on McNeilly road, has simply never set in.

We have had a history of disaster and heartache that has stirred our lives for the better part of the thirty plus years that my family has lived at 139. One Three Nine no longer exists and it will no longer, but I wonder if this was just the last straw.

Growing up there, we experienced so many opportunities to run. We experienced so many signs that would have pointed us elsewhere and yet we stayed. We stayed strong and together. We never changed our course. We never changed our actions.

We had our home flooded more times that I care to count, part of the reason I am sure that 139 will no longer exist.

I have watched my sister’s car swallowed by a water main break that literally ate her car. The front of our yard ended up in the back along with her car.

I remember a storm so bad that the water rushed into my Dad’s garage and was washing the bottom of it away. With a neighbors help, I drove my Dad’s car out of the garage that was about to collapse on itself. This was back in the days of the “Club”, which was on the car and I still managed to save it.

I remember putting plastic bags on our feet and dumping buckets out of our basement that had flooded with sewage. Buckets filled with poop from who knows where in our finished basement. We spent the night dumping buckets as fast as they would fill just to minimize the damage.

We had a pipe burst in our bathroom upstairs that flooded our house all day while we were away, on the the last day of school conveniently. Our entire summer was spent living in an extended living home while our house was fixed….

Then the person that was fixing our home robbed us of everything that we owned.

What was the lesson? What were you trying to teach us?

Out of all of that crap, I didn’t even add all the times that I’ve almost said goodbye to my Dad, or the time that police knocked on my door because something was wrong with my brother. I didn’t mention the physical heartache from the ones that I love that were in pain or dying right in front of me. I’ve been through a lot… and so I wonder, what have I missed?

I want to get it right now. I want to know the answer before the sun rises so that I don’t have to spend another day like this.

I want to get your message and as I write this, I wonder if that is part of the problem. I get it. I have the message, but someone else does not.

I know that in my near future, I will be saying goodbye to many things. I will say goodbye to the entire place that I grew up. I will say goodbye to McNeilly Road forever. I will say goodbye to the traditions and memories that once lived there. I will also say goodbye to the pain. I will say goodbye to some of the relationships that have been torn in recent days. I will say goodbye to it all.

Tomorrow, I pray that I wake with the strength to move forward. I know what demons have followed our family for my entire life and tomorrow I pray that I have the strength to stand up against them. I pray that your lesson, your message, finally be heard and that my family may hear it. Be with us tomorrow, as I know you are always.